The Sexuality Catch, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries tremendous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good too).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, wellness, and nearness .

But when problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They probably would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in urbane areas, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sexual activity. Lots of gay men wish to learn from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If why not try here not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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